I Make Up Worlds

The Problem with 'Boys Will Be Boys'

Wed, 22 May 2013 20:57:45 -1000

For months, every morning when my daughter was in preschool, I watched her construct an elaborate castle out of blocks, colorful plastic discs, bits of rope, ribbons and feathers, only to have the same little boy gleefully destroy it within seconds of its completion.

No matter how many times he did it, his parents never swooped in BEFORE the morning’s live 3-D reenactment of “Invasion of AstroMonster.” This is what they’d say repeatedly:

“You know! Boys will be boys!”

“He’s just going through a phase!”

“He’s such a boy! He LOVES destroying things!”

“Oh my god! Girls and boys are SO different!”

“He. Just. Can’t. Help himself!”

I tried to teach my daughter how to stop this from happening. She asked him politely not to do it. We talked about some things she might do. She moved where she built. She stood in his way. She built a stronger foundation to the castle, so that, if he did get to it, she wouldn’t have to rebuild the whole thing. In the meantime, I imagine his parents thinking, “What red-blooded boy wouldn’t knock it down?”

She built a beautiful, glittery castle in a public space.

It was so tempting.

He just couldn’t control himself and, being a boy, had violent inclinations.

She had to keep her building safe.

Her consent didn’t matter. Besides, it’s not like she made a big fuss when he knocked it down. It wasn’t a “legitimate” knocking over if she didn’t throw a tantrum.

His desire — for power, destruction, control, whatever- - was understandable.

Maybe she “shouldn’t have gone to preschool” at all. OR, better if she just kept her building activities to home.

I know it’s a lurid metaphor, but I taught my daughter the preschool block precursor of don’t “get raped” and this child, Boy #1, did not learn the preschool equivalent of “don’t rape.”

Not once did his parents talk to him about invading another person’s space and claiming for his own purposes something that was not his to claim. Respect for her and her work and words was not something he was learning. How much of the boy’s behavior in coming years would be excused in these ways, be calibrated to meet these expectations and enforce the “rules” his parents kept repeating?

There was another boy who, similarly, decided to knock down her castle one day. When he did it his mother took him in hand, explained to him that it was not his to destroy, asked him how he thought my daughter felt after working so hard on her building and walked over with him so he could apologize. That probably wasn’t much fun for him, but he did not do it again.

There was a third child. He was really smart. He asked if he could knock her building down. She, beneficent ruler of all pre-circle-time castle construction, said yes… but only after she was done building it and said it was OK. They worked out a plan together and eventually he started building things with her and they would both knock the thing down with unadulterated joy. You can’t make this stuff up.

Take each of these three boys and consider what he might do when he’s older, say, at college, drunk at a party, mad at an ex-girlfriend who rebuffs him and uses words that she expects will be meaningful and respecte, “No, I don’t want to. Stop. Leave.”

The “overarching attitudinal characteristic” of abusive men is entitlement.

jhameia: kynodontas: tangledaxon: Cover reveal for Ascension....

Wed, 22 May 2013 09:41:53 -1000

jhameia:

kynodontas:

tangledaxon:

Cover reveal for Ascension. It’s gorgeous and I couldn’t be happier with it. I hope you love it too!

Art by Scott Grimando, cover design by Sherin Nicole.

#QUEER #POC #POLYAMORY

:’)

sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet

COLD STEEL Giveaway

Mon, 20 May 2013 14:20:00 -1000

Copies of COLD STEEL arrived on my doorstep this afternoon.

I can’t read them all, plus I already know the story, and meanwhile the book is not officially released until 25 June 2013.

[The ebook will be released into the wild on 25 June but it is possible that the print book will start showing up earlier in bookstores just as the print copies of COLD FIRE did. So if you are buying the print version, keep your eyes open.]

Obviously the only thing to do is to have a giveaway.

I’m giving away four copies of COLD STEEL.

Here are the rules:

1. The giveaway will be open for one week, from today 20 May until 9 p.m. HT (Hawaii Time) on Monday 27 May.

2. Anyone can enter internationally.

3. To enter, ask me a question about the Spiritwalker Trilogy *or* about writing *or* about the science fiction/fantasy field and media *or* about something else. Everyone who asks a question is entered. There are no stupid questions.

4. Three of the copies will be picked randomly from all entries (here, on livejournal, and on tumblr). One copy will be picked at my discretion based on the questions themselves—but only one. There may be a few of you who worry about whether your question is good enough or clever enough or interesting enough: It is. And anyway, as per the above, lest you are still secretly fretting as I would be, three of the winners will be picked without regard to the question asked.

I will mail out the winners’ copies as soon as I get addresses (on May 28 if possible).

5. After you have read the book you can review it IF YOU WISH, or not review it, as you wish. This giveaway is in the nature of thanking my readers.

Just to clarify, any review should be the honest opinion of the reviewer. While I naturally hope all of you love the novel, I am aware that not everyone will, and reviews should be honest. However, IF you decide to review it, I ask (as per Orbit’s request) that you not review it until late June when the books are available.

Do not underestimate the importance of the social media conversation about books. The conversation is a fabulous thing, and it matters.

A brief reminder: Check out my book event dates (San Francisco, San Diego, New York, Seattle, Portland), and come if you can!

One last thing: YOU GUYS. Thank you for being the best readers.

Any questions?

racebending: Hi everybody! When I’m not working on...

Thu, 16 May 2013 10:07:20 -1000

racebending:

Hi everybody! When I’m not working on Racebending, I’m a grad student at UCLA where my colleagues/friends and I are currently researching the wellness outcomes of LGBTQ Asian Pacific Americans! (See above video for more details.)

We are in the process of conducting a survey of people who identify as LGBTQ and Asian Pacific American and would love your participation. Make sure our voice is heard! We were awarded a small grant so we will be raffling off a bunch of $50 Amazon gift cards, too. The link to the survey is www.uclaqapistudy.com!

Please consider taking the survey and reblogging!

Dance

Wed, 15 May 2013 14:23:29 -1000

Dance

stitchsketchbook: “The Severed Sophistry of Nathaniel Sharpe.”

Mon, 13 May 2013 20:24:32 -1000

stitchsketchbook:

“The Severed Sophistry of Nathaniel Sharpe.”

angrygirlcomics: in Chinese mythology, the Dragon Kings ruled...

Mon, 13 May 2013 20:23:42 -1000

angrygirlcomics:

in Chinese mythology, the Dragon Kings ruled the four seas and often had fearsome half-human half-dragon forms. throughout the land in shadowy groves and clandestine coves lurked fox spirits, beautiful, cunning creatures who often took the form of seductive young women. while the Dragon Kings often were frightening in appearance, their children were quite lovely and could take fully human forms.

I wanted to draw a fairy tale story with a fox spirit and a dragon prince.

please do not remove my commentary if you do reblog, thank you!

I love this!

Ocean

Mon, 13 May 2013 20:21:54 -1000

Ocean

fuckyeahdinoart: Stygimoloch spinifer, because I find the...

Mon, 13 May 2013 09:52:49 -1000

fuckyeahdinoart:

Stygimoloch spinifer, because I find the species utterly adorable.

shwetanarayan: taijavigilia: I was stuck in the car for about...

Mon, 13 May 2013 08:37:41 -1000

shwetanarayan:

taijavigilia:

I was stuck in the car for about eight hours over the weekend while going to visit the in-laws and my mind was just wandering around. Part of me ships Merida with MacGuffin but part of me is like.. ehh.. it’s more likely she married some complete outsider or no-one at all.

So in one of the alternate versions I came up with Abderrahim. The third son of an Iberian nobleman he chose the life of a scholar and was on his way back from drawing complete map of the Baltic Sea when the vessel he was traveling on capsized in an autumn storm and the few survivors floated to shore not far from Castle Dunbroch. With her father’s health starting to fail Merida took to looking after the injured and before long the adventurous duo were inseparable and Abderrahim’s despair over his lost research forgotten as Merida showed him the Highlands. Three years later at her coronation Merida announced that they were to marry. Initially the clansmen disagreed but as Merida’s influence grew and Dunbroch and neighboring clans prospered beyond everyone’s expectations with the new trade routes to south the doubters were silenced. This picture is Queen Merida and King Abderrahim on the tenth birthday of their firstborn twins, crown prince Fergus and crown princess Jamila.

Oh there was a load of other stuff as well but another (story)time.

LOVE

This is adorable.

A Song of Lament for Syria: In Aleppo, a city famous for its love of music, the bombs are drowning out the songs.

Mon, 13 May 2013 08:23:07 -1000

A Song of Lament for Syria: In Aleppo, a city famous for its love of music, the bombs are drowning out the songs.:

ellenkushner:

This article by Syrian novelist Nihad Sirees includes info on “the banat ishreh — women who form intense, intimate relationships with other women and who meet in groups in order to sing, dance and socialize. The atmosphere at those soirees was rife with coquettishness, jealousy and love. Each woman would sit next to her particular friend and, in turn, would sing her a song. ….

“I had heard of two banat ishreh who lived together, and I wanted to meet them, so I called them and set up an appointment….

“The younger woman, whom I’ll call Ahlam for her protection, was a dark-eyed beauty. I’ll call her friend Hameed — she had given herself a man’s name, one that reminded me of the burly heroes of Egyptian movies from the 1960s. Hameed had a boyish haircut and a mannish way of sitting and smoking cigarettes. She acted as if she were the husband of Ahlam, and had even purchased a hair salon in Ahlam’s name in case something bad happened and she was no longer able to take care of her.

“Hameed was also a famous wedding singer who was known all over town, and wedding halls would fill to the brim with women who had come to hear her sing — and behave — like a man. They would clamber up onstage with her as she sang to the newlyweds, dancing and writhing around her.

“I loved those two women, and began to visit them whenever I could, soaking up Hameed’s stories about the banat ishreh … . “

Like Japan’s Takarazuka, like the cross-dressing English music hall performers … Wonderful to see an example out of Syria! A moving article about what the war has done to music, and to these people in particular. May there be peace. And music, soon.

COLD STEEL events

Mon, 13 May 2013 00:00:00 -1000

To support the release of the third and final volume of the Spiritwalker Trilogy I will be at the following bookstores/events:

Borderlands Books, San Francisco, CA: Thursday June 27 at 7 pm

with Katharine Kerr who will also have a new book out, Sorcerer’s Luck.

Mysterious Galaxy San Diego, Saturday June 29 at 2 pm

with Andy Duncan and Clarion students (should be fun AND educational).

New York City: NYRSF reading Tuesday July 2 (other author TBA) at 7 pm

University Bookstore, Seattle, WA: Monday July 8 at 7 pm

Powells Beaverton, Portland OR: Tuesday July 9 at 7 pm

All events will include reading from Cold Steel, from my forthcoming YA fantasy, and maybe even from the epic fantasy trilogy I’m currently working on, or possibly I will read a short story instead although that might necessitate you believing I can actually write a short story. Which I can. I totally can.

PLUS Q&A (you have to bring the Qs).

AND I will either have print copies of The Secret Journal of Beatrice Hassi Barahal available (art by the awesome Julie Dillon!!!!) OR if it is not yet finished I will have a rough version with some of the illustrations to display and a place to sign up with your email/address to get notification when the print and e-book versions are ready for purchase.

Please know that I would love to see you. Yes, you! Especially YOU!

And your friends, family, or indeed any passers-by you can snag off the street. If I’m not coming to a city near you then send friends or family who live in the area to the event! The more the merrier. If enough people come I will sing OR demonstrate how to paddle an outrigger canoe and punch sharks.

I plan to attend the Sirens Conference in Oregon in October (it’s a wonderful small conference — come if you can!) but besides that the events listed above will be my only appearances in public venues/conventions this year (as far as I know).

A note on bookstore events:

I’m signing at four well regarded and valued independent bookstores. You may bring personal books from home for me to sign. It is not required to buy (for example) Cold Steel or any book from the bookstore but it is always a strong show of support for independent bookstores if you can and do buy a copy of my newest book or, indeed, any book while you’re there (whether or not it is one of mine).

If you’re not able to make the event, I do always sign stock at each bookstore so you can order a signed copy afterward. If you contact any of the bookstores IN ADVANCE you can reserve a book and get it signed to you at the event (by me! not some random book signing gnome).

Finally, if you are so inclined, do feel free to signal boost this announcement. There is always always someone who says afterward: “But I didn’t know you would be here!”

zamaaanawal: Aswan, Egypt, 1910.

Fri, 10 May 2013 20:55:31 -1000

zamaaanawal:

Aswan, Egypt, 1910.

Must always reblog this man.

Fri, 10 May 2013 13:30:21 -1000

Must always reblog this man.

dreamdefenders: On April 22, 16-year-old Kiera Wilmot was...

Fri, 10 May 2013 13:29:47 -1000

dreamdefenders:

On April 22, 16-year-old Kiera Wilmot was arrested at her Polk County high school for conducting a science experiment. The teen, who has no criminal history and maintained good grades, suddenly found herself trapped in Florida’s insidious school to prison pipeline; which has continually funneled mostly youth of color out of Florida’s schools and into the criminal justice system.

According to a report by Florida’s Department of Juvenile Justice, over 57% of the state’s 96,515 youth incarcerated in 2012 were Black and Brown. In Kiera’s home of Polk County, Sheriff Grady Judd has presided over a system in which youth have continually been cycled through county jails in which severe abuses have been alleged including the use of pepper spray and the holding of juveniles in cages.

During the 2013 Florida Legislative Session, Dream Defenders worked with allies in the Florida Campaign for Juvenile Justice to reform Florida’s broken juvenile justice system. Despite repeated community visits to the state capital, briefings and press conferences by advocates and sponsoring legislators, the 2013 Legislative session closed with no action on critical bills such as SB 1374/HB 1039 which would have reformed Florida’s Zero Tolerance law at play in this case.

While Kiera navigates the legal ramifications of her unjust case Polk County Superintendent John Stewart has made the decision to place Kiera in an “alternative school” as he considers expulsion proceedings. Dream Defenders find these actions by Superintendent Stewart reprehensible. Dream Defenders demands that Stewart drop all expulsion proceedings against Kiera Wilmot and allow her to return to her enrollment at Bartow High School.

Dream Defenders calls upon all local, state and national allies to TAKE ACTION to ensure Kiera does not become another casualty of the school to prison pipeline.

WHAT YOU CAN DO:

Sign the petition to get Kiera back in school

Spread these images by tweeting them, reblogging them and posting them on instagram.

Contact Polk County Superintendent John Stewart by calling: (863) 534-0521

Sample Script:

Superintendent Stewart,

My name is _____________ and I am calling to express my concern about the expulsion proceedings against Kiera Wilmot. Florida has been among the national leaders in furthering a school to prison pipeline; with zero tolerance policies being used to lock up, expel and divert youth from their right to an education. Ms. Wilmot’s case is another example of the state and your office criminalizing and derailing the future of a girl of color. Your handling of her case has been irresponsible and reprehensible. Ms. Wilmot’s actions and intent simply do not warrant expulsion or placement in alternative schooling. I am calling on you to immediately drop all expulsion proceedings against Kiera Wilmot and allow her to return to her regular enrollment at Bartow High School.

In order to make an impact in this case we will need the support of thousands.

Please share this message with family and friends. Let’s ensure there is

#JusticeForKiera

marthajefferson: lohrien: Illustrations by Yoshitaka Amano

Tue, 07 May 2013 21:56:19 -1000

marthajefferson:

lohrien:

Illustrations by Yoshitaka Amano

tofuist: 上賀茂神社　笠懸神事

Tue, 07 May 2013 21:55:31 -1000

tofuist:

上賀茂神社　笠懸神事

cutfromadiffcloth: Brand: Alali Boutique Designer: Oroma...

Tue, 07 May 2013 21:54:51 -1000

cutfromadiffcloth:

Brand: Alali Boutique

Designer: Oroma Cookey-Gam

‘Lipstick + Free Speech’ S/S 2013 Collection

cutfromadiffcloth.tumblr.com

thekimonogallery: Furyu kodakara kissho hajime. Ukiyo-e...

Tue, 07 May 2013 21:53:56 -1000

thekimonogallery:

Furyu kodakara kissho hajime. Ukiyo-e woodblock print, about 1840’s, Japan, by artist Kikugawa Eizan.

whitehouse: The First Lady and 49ers QB Colin Kaepernick,...

Tue, 07 May 2013 21:47:25 -1000

whitehouse:

The First Lady and 49ers QB Colin Kaepernick, Kaepernicking for Let’s Move! Active Schools.

I Make Up Worlds

The Problem with 'Boys Will Be Boys'

jhameia: kynodontas: tangledaxon: Cover reveal for Ascension....

COLD STEEL Giveaway

racebending: Hi everybody! When I’m not working on...

Dance

stitchsketchbook: “The Severed Sophistry of Nathaniel Sharpe.”

angrygirlcomics: in Chinese mythology, the Dragon Kings ruled...

Ocean

fuckyeahdinoart: Stygimoloch spinifer, because I find the...

shwetanarayan: taijavigilia: I was stuck in the car for about...

A Song of Lament for Syria: In Aleppo, a city famous for its love of music, the bombs are drowning out the songs.

COLD STEEL events

zamaaanawal: Aswan, Egypt, 1910.

Must always reblog this man.

dreamdefenders: On April 22, 16-year-old Kiera Wilmot was...

marthajefferson: lohrien: Illustrations by Yoshitaka Amano

tofuist: 上賀茂神社 笠懸神事

cutfromadiffcloth: Brand: Alali Boutique Designer: Oroma...

thekimonogallery: Furyu kodakara kissho hajime. Ukiyo-e...

whitehouse: The First Lady and 49ers QB Colin Kaepernick,...

tofuist: 上賀茂神社　笠懸神事